Before I say anything else I need to get this out there: I am incredibly grateful that I have a job that pays my bills, not everyone is that lucky.
But there are days, more and more frequently, when I find myself wondering if it’s worth it. When I come home late at night after working 11½-13 hours, with a bone-deep ache in my body and completely drained of energy, only to do it all again the next day. The past two weeks or so have been a cycle of working three full days, having one off, and I’m feeling the strain. While my mind is happy to stay a child, my body is quite forcefully reminding me that it no longer belongs to a teenager and can’t handle the break-neck pace it used to. My sleep-schedule is shot, I haven’t been able to sleep a full night, without waking up at least once, in weeks and I’ve lost what little appetite I had. I find myself struggling to keep up with the regulars, my attention drifting more easily than usual and I frequently lose track of what I was doing. Luckily I have a three-day weekend off starting tomorrow, and I’m gonna use it fully to recharge my batteries. Maybe if I sleep for three days this constant tiredness will finally leave. Here’s hoping.
Oh, and have a wonderful Easter everyone!